Thursday, May 14, 2009

Still Life with Migraine

I can not even tell you how sick and tired I am of losing portions of my life to these damn headaches!

Got another one last night, came on late in the afternoon—that old, piecing pain that makes me think my eye is going to explode.

It wasn't too bad, so I went home and took a nap, hoping it was eyestrain and if I just relaxed a bit it would dissipate.

No such luck.

I barely made it through dinner and was back in bed by 9 pm.

Physical Evidence Would Be Nice

I wish my eyes would start bleeding, or there would be some outside, physical manifestation of my pain.

Think about it, when you have a cold, you're all sniffley and coughing and people are like "You poor thing, you look miserable."

With a migraine, they just have to take your word for it that there is an icepick sticking out of your skull.

Although, I must get pale or something.

When they come on at work, I notice my coworkers start giving me a wide berth and then Boss Man will suddenly appear and suggest I go home.

There has also been many occasions when Hubby takes one look at me upon my arrival home and he just tucks me right into bed.

I get the sensitivity to light, so I suspect I'm walking around with my eyes half closed and that tips them off there is a problem.

I also get the sensitivity to smell, which isn't as common but is an actual symptom. Cigarette smoke, especially, will make me flee. Luckily, if there is anything lucky about the situation, I don't get the sensitivity to sound.

I could almost handle the pain behind my eye and in my head, although it does destroy my will to live, it's the nausea that I really can't stand.

Not a Solution
A few months ago, during a migraine, I asked Hubby to smother me and put me out of my misery.

I figured smothering would still leave me cute for the funeral.

He said OK, but has, obviously, not followed through.

Of course, at the time, I was dying in the bedroom and he was working in the office down the hall, so I'm not sure he was actually paying attention to me.

Considering he still hasn't replaced the two tiles in my bathroom that Baru ate when he was a puppy, you can see how quickly Hubby acts on the To Do lists I give him.

sigh. I get no support.

However, it's apparent that all this touchy-feely acupuncture and herbal supplement stuff I've been doing it's having the desired affect either.

And it's not just that I'm tired of getting migraines. I feel like I've been getting them more frequently, although they have been less severe and don't last as long as in recent years, and now
I'm worried about getting one while we're in France!

Me puking in the passenger seat would totally ruin our trip!

Tough Self-Love
I'm feeling better today, at least over the past year they've gone back to being brief, but I'm always on my guard the day after.

As soon as Hubby came down to breakfast today, I pounced on him.

I declared that since my current solutions aren't working, it was time I admitted I had to look at lifestyle changes: diet and exercise, more sleep, and reducing stress.

Since he has some minor ailments of his own, he agreed that we aren't getting any younger and should start taking better care of ourselves.

We decided that instead of going on a diet to lose weight, we have to approach food from a medicine state of mind as part of improving our overall well being, and if we happen to lose weight, so much the better.

Of course, I also have to do things like getting the house cleaned up and in order, because a peaceful house equals a less stressful house. For instance, getting caught up on the laundry will eliminate my guilt about having two loads to fold and that will result in less stress.

You catch my drift.

But, That Means Work!
Unfortunately, this means I'm going to have to stop being a slacker. And it might cut into my knitting time in the evenings.

I'm not happy about that prospect, but then laying in bed with a migraine also cuts into my knitting time. So I can't win either way.

On the other hand, I've heard these rumors that once you get your house in order, and just have to maintain it, cleaning doesn't take as long.

I figure, I'm going to have to approach it as though I was back on the train and aim for leaving the house around 7 am.

To do that, I'll have to be organized at night and get my chores done, lunch packed, etc., which well allow me to leave the house earlier, which will get me to work earlier, which will allow me to leave earlier (and miss the bad traffic), which will give me more time at home in the evening to accomplish stuff!

This is not an easy path I have chosen. But there's that stupid saying about anything worth having is worth working for, so who am I to argue?

Knitting?! Have you been listening?
I managed maybe two rows on the Harf last night.

And even then, I had to pick out half a row because I forgot to work the decreases. I think that is when I stopped trying.

Soon, it will be done. One stitch, one row at a time, but it will be done.


  1. Poor Ann! I know how you feel, getting those behind the (one) eye headaches. I'm not sure what I've done differently in the last six months, but I hardly get them anymore??? I finally switched off of my Flonase/Nasonex nose spray (a steroid allergy med) and started taking Singulair. Either getting of the one did it, starting the other did it, or both. Also, I stopped drinking pop/soda almost completely.

    I'm not sure what did it, or if it will stay this way, but I'm hoping! I also hope you can figure out what that trigger is for you. Doctors say it can be almost anything. ugh.

    In any event, get cleaning girl! Then come to my house and get started! he he

  2. DEAR Aunt Annie,
    THIS is Chris and i'm great.and sorry about the headaches.

  3. I truly feel for you. That head pain is brutal and I know what you mean about how a physical manifestation would be nice, just so people know how bad it really is and that you're not just making it up. I do find that getting regular sleep and staying ahead of my work help. Oh, and of course at least one hour of knitting before bead :)