Schleppy Sweater: Tricky Tapemeasure

I made it through all the increases on the left sleeve last night bringing my stitches to 66.

Then I worked three more rows to bring my row count to 65 (actually 165 since I don't have a three digit row counter), which should have been 18 inches.

This was very exciting.

I laid the sleeve out on the coffee table and measured it. 22 inches.

How the heck did I overshoot it that much?

Oh, I'm measuring from the cast on edge, which includes the mitt length. I should be measuring from this stitch marker.

I moved the end of the tape measure and the sleeve was then 16 inches.

Two rows short of the goal.

What the heck? 135 rows should be 18 inches based on my row gauge. What is going on?

I couldn't work two more inches the sleeve looked so long already. I tried it on.

It reaches very far up my arm. Almost into my armpit.

How far into my armpit is this damn thing supposed to go? I've already said it's not an alien skin costume! I don't want it to be skin tight.

I measured myself correctly. I did the math correctly. But it's not working out! How the hell am I supposed to figure this out myself?! What I need is a seamstress.

Where the hell am I supposed to find a seamstress!?

Ok, calm down. Who in my family sews?

My Mom
I'm pretty sure she used to make clothes when I was little. I definitely remember she made stuffed animals.

Once she made me this awesome alligator. His body was corduroy and his mouth was open so she used that zig-zag tape for teeth. And the pupils on his button eyes were the silhouette of a cat sitting up.

But a stuffed alligator won't translate to sleeve fit. Besides that was back in the 1970s, she probably won't remember.

My Cousin A
But I don't know if she makes clothes or if her talents are limited to last minute elf hats for the Christmas pageant.

Besides, it's Easter this weekend. I won't be able to get in touch with her. If she isn't in church then she is delirious from lack of food and sleep from spending so much time in church.

My Aunt T in CA
Now she is a seamstress. Her talents are very much in demand for sewing vestments for priests.

But take all that stuff I said about my Cousin A and Easter, double it because Aunt T is a priest's wife, and add a three hour time difference.

Obviously I'm on my own.

Wait a minute.

I'm measuring from this stitch marker at the top of the ribbing before the stockinette stitch starts.

That is the top of the cuff. Why would I put a stitch marker there? I don't remember. But I did it on both sleeves.

I should be measuring from this other stitch marker that indicates the row where the mitt stops and the cuff starts.

Let's see....from there the sleeve measures....18 inches.

um...

ok...

Forget everything I just said.